It will be ok.

Humans make mistakes. This is a fact. Everyone including you and me have made mistakes, but should we let our mistakes define who we are? In my opinion, no I don’t think our past mistakes should define who we are. Our past mistakes are in our past for a reason. If you made a mistake yesterday, it’s ok to let go. It happened, it’s done so why continue to worry?

For me personally, struggling with past mistakes is a huge difficulty. I always thought I was defined by my depression and anxiety, but one summer I met a woman on a church mission trip who changed my whole outlook on life. I sat down and got the chance for her to pray for me. I told her my story and she said I shared a similar path as she did. But the next thing she said changed my perspective on life. She said, “Your depression and your mistakes are not part of you. They are simply something that happened to you, but they are not you.” Just by saying two sentences a few summers ago, my life to this day has been different.

I do not let my mistakes define who I am as a person. Everybody makes mistakes, Hannah Montana can even tell you that. But should you live your life defined by past mistakes that simply happened to you even though they aren’t you? The answer is no. Your life is truly amazing, and it’s not worth wasting it.

Think of all the energy your wasting worrying about a mistake that happened in your past? It’s not worth it because you are already forgiven. You are forgiven by God. Don’t be afraid to live your life. Do not live in fear, and do not live in worry about your past. You are forgiven, and you are see free. So live, it will be ok.

With love and hope,

Julia

And if you are reading this JP, know that I love you with all my heart. I will not let go of someone I love. Thank you for always showing me forgiveness and to live without worry.

Its not about numbers; its about love.

On most social media sites there is almost always some sort of “like” options. On Facebook you can like someone’s status, on instagram you “heart” their picture, and on twitter you ” favorite” their tweet. To some people they just like to post things that make them happy, but to some other people these “likes” they receive on things they post mean something more. The number of “likes” a picture gets online may mean how many people think this person is pretty or likeable, but isn’t it all just a number?

One of the hardest things I have had to face constantly to this day is my social anxiety. My social anxiety is different because I am not scared to talk to people, I am scared as to what they think about me. I am a huge extrovert, which means I simply love being around people. However, how do I have social anxiety if I love being around people? The answer is hidden beneath. I am quite terrified of being alone. The mere thought of not having plans on a Friday night while everyone else is going to some concert or out with friends and I have no plans terrifies me. I hate being alone when I don’t want to be alone. It terrifies and it gives me the worst anxiety. I sometimes and still think that all these people who have plans on Friday nights obviously must have a lot of friends. A lot of people must like these people because they are always being asked to do something. Now this is where the title of the blog comes into play. All these people may have plans every weekend and a ton of friends, but do numbers justify for your self love? Seriously think about it. For years, I thought “Well If I have don’t have plans every weekend or a huge number of friends than I must not be lovable.” But this is not true at all.

Self love is not based on how many friends you have, the number of people who know your name, or how many “likes” you get on social media. Self love is based on love for yourself.

Now there is the argument that if you do not have a lot of friends you may not be approachable or likeable because not many people are drawn to you. But the thing is, it doesn’t matter. Friends are one of the most beautiful things God can give to His people, but at the end of the day other people cannot determine how much you love yourself. Friends are meant to love and support you and this is 100% true, but friends are not responsible for your self worth/love. The one person who is responsible for your self love is yourself.

People do need other people because humans are meant to be loved and to share loved. But let’s talk about self love!

Self love is just as important as any other type of love there is .Loving yourself can be extremely hard. Trust me I know how it feels! But there is only person who is there with you 24/7 all the time other than God and their name is you. In our society, there are so many stereotypes for who you should be and what you shouldn’t. Don’t listen to society as whole, listen to me for just this one second. Think.

Who is the one person that gets themselves up every single day, feeds, dresses, takes care of, and feels for you? That is you. You are so much stronger than you think you are. You have lived every single day and are still living, breathing, and screaming to live to the next day. You are worth it. You are worth all of it. You do not need numbers, you need you to show you how wonderful and amazing you are. Its 110% OK if you do not have plans because it doesn’t mean people don’t like you. You do not need to have 20 friends to know you are loved. You do not need 95 likes on instagram to know you are beautiful. Love is not based on numbers; love for yourself is based on you.

There is someone out there on the other side of this planet feeling the exact way you are feeling now, but you do not know it. Does that mean you are alone? Of course not. It means you are alive. Please stay alive and see what days, months, and years have happiness to bring to you! You are worth it and you are loved. All of the people in the world need some alone time, it doesn’t mean you are not loved. Love yourself because its not based on numbers.

Here is my LIVING BREATHING SCREAMING invitation for you to believe in better things and to love and celebrate you!

With love and hope,

Julia

 

 

Don’t be afraid.

There is a famous quote that says, “Your life begins at the end of your comfort zone.” I always used to wonder how living out of your comfort zone could be a good thing since you wouldn’t be comfortable. So what would be the point to this quote? Would it be to live outside of our boundaries or live life always on the edge? The answer is to live. To live and not be afraid.

For a long period of my life I was very cautious to ever step outside my comfort zone. There was a constant fear of judgement from others and what they would think of me. I became so obsessed with these fears that they eventually started to control my life. I didn’t want to go out anymore because I was afraid people wouldn’t want me there. I would not say how I felt when someone said something I didn’t like because I did not want them thinking of me as a prude. But all these times I was thinking that people wouldn’t like me, but I never actually had any proof. I just assumed they felt that way about me because I thought no one could ever like me.

In reality though, I was loved by a lot of people, but I always couldn’t see it. I couldn’t always see this love because I constantly lived in fear. I filled my mind with lies and myths. Sure there would be people in life that wouldn’t like me, but am I going to let those people be in control of my life? No. No I am not. There are so many people that love me, and I know if I was gone that many peoples’ lives would be hurt. That’s when I started to realize from God and other people in my life that I’m loved.

Learning over time that people did love me helped me to speak out and be free of my depression and OCD. I learned to not live in fear. Not living in fear constantly has given me amazing opportunities like mission trips in WV, falling in love with my boyfriend JP, making new friends, and being me. There were many opportunities I missed from living in fear, but I make up for that now.

So take the chance. Be free. Simply live and take chances! Don’t be afraid because you are only hurting yourself more by living in fear instead of letting go and living life.

With love and hope,

Julia